Love Connections

If you've had your struggles making love connections in "traditional" ways, do what any good athlete, artist, or executive would do: mix it up. So your set-ups have failed, your lines have backfired, and your cooking classes have left you with more burns than any kind of burning desire. Maybe your timing's been poor. Perhaps the circumstances weren't right. Or it's possible you just didn't meet the right kinds of people.

Rather than sit at home, lick your wounds, and write depressive poetry, try finding people who actually like to do the things you do. When you're in your natural element, whether it's on stage, in the gym, or around the oven, your confidence will automatically rise. When it does, those around you can't help but notice. We're all attracted to winners, and people who seem to know what they're doing smack of "winner" from a mile away.

So How Do Love Connections Come from Confidence?

Once you feel confident in yourself, you'll be emboldened in your approach. Asking people out won't feel like the awkward, sweaty, heart-palpitating, tongue-twisting affair it's been in the past. You won't struggle to come up with witty lines that are meant to impress. You'll be "in the zone," as many athletes say when everything's working right. Ah, you say, but how do I get to the date to begin with? Without dates there are no love connections.

Try finding an activity that's devoid of all romantic pressure. Whether you join a marathon-training group, a volunteer construction company for charity, or a local political rally, your intention should be to find a situation in which you can excel. Once you begin to do rather than think, you'll find yourself naturally meeting singles who are there to do the same thing. Don't try to find a date right off the bat; give yourself time to shine, then let others gradually come to you.