Planning For A Memorial Service

A memorial service can be formal and structured, similar to a traditional funeral. Or it can be a small family gathering, and everything in between. With so many options to choose from, some guidelines and considerations might be helpful. Location and degree of formality are important factors. Families may want to reflect upon the personality of the deceased and the nature of the expected guests, when deciding where to hold the service. If the deceased was very active in his or her church, it makes sense to hold the services there. If the deceased had no church affiliation, then perhaps the mortuary or another secular setting is more appropriate.

In addition to deciding who to inform and invite, a planner must settle on how to make contact with those prospective guests. Though the obituary often states the time and location of the services, loved ones who are out of town will not receive notification this way. They may need to be called. Good sources of contact information are the deceased's personal phone book or Christmas card list.

Who will preside over the services and what will the program include? Of course, if the program takes place in a church or is religious in nature, the clergyman should preside. But if not, perhaps a well-spoken family member or close friend can take the lead. Even if there are several people participating in the program, there should be one person who is the designated leader and facilitator. The content of the program may include a religious service; readings from favorite scripture or poetry; contributions from loved ones sharing antidotes and expressions of love; live music (i.e. a family member or friend who is an accomplished singer or musician); video presentations including pictures of the deceased. The possibilities are endless and there are many places where families can get ideas and inspiration--from mortuary personnel, from the Internet and from their own family traditions, to name a few. Once the program is set, a common practice is to prepare a printed keepsake memorializing the service.

Creative Touches for a Personalized Service

Often families arrange a display of photographs and mementos in a prominent place near the entrance of the service. Such displays are effective at bringing family, friends and acquaintances together to share the moment with one another. Flowers are also a well entrenched tradition. When using flowers, it is important to plan ahead so that all of the flowers that arrive have optimal placement during the service and a place to be sent or donated after the service. Families who do not want to receive flowers often let well-wishers know how to better contribute their support. Often families ask that others donate to a specific charity in lieu of flowers.