Beer Bottle Openers

Written by Jeremy Horelick
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The truth is, beer bottle openers simply aren't reliant on the same cutting-edge technology as their friends in the wine-opening world. There are no fancy beer bottle openers that seize your drink, descend upon its cap with ritualized force, and apply the appropriate torque needed to liberate the pent-up whisps of gas and fizz. Somewhere, perhaps, some mad (and bored) beer-swilling genius has built the prototype for such a machine, but if so, it's yet to emerge on the scene.

All this doesn't mean that beer bottle openers occupy a lesser status in the drinking world than wine bottle openers--just a different status. Beer bottle openers are generally easier to conceal and transport, which makes them easier to sneak into establishments where bartenders will gladly open your bottles for you anyway. They're also adorned with all manner of pop culture markings, from film- and TV-related logos to corporate tag lines and cheeky aphorisms, making them popular at frat parties and other tipple-topped pow-wows.

Variations on Beer Bottle Openers

In a move toward school, company, or club solidarity, many groups find that customized bottle openers are an affordable and effective option. Since beer is already a primary means of getting a group's members to conform to a single philosophy or ideology, beer bottle openers can be cruelly efficient tools through which leaders and organizers can achieve their causes. Just as World War II witnessed the rise of the war-time propaganda machine, so too have group identification and common causes helped buttress the once-flagging bottle opener industry.

For those looking to push the envelope, talking bottle openers are yet another possibility. Some would argue that this vocal capability amounts to "gilding the lily," since beer bottle openers already perform such an important task. In the world of suds, though, the concept of too much of a good thing simply doesn't exist.


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