Surrogate Mother

Written by Will Baum
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Surrogate mothers give a gift greater than anything ever found under a Christmas tree. They give the gift of life. When a couple can't conceive a child on their own, they often fall into despair. They grow frustrated and depressed. They lose hope. A surrogate not only helps ease the hopelessness, but can turn it around into overwhelming joy by bringing a child into the couple's life.

A surrogate mother sacrifices nine months of her existence. Her body is taken over and transformed. Many surrogates are already parents and know what's coming. They've experienced pregnancy and enjoyed it. What's more, they know what it is to be a parent and want to share that pleasure. However, not everyone who would like to become a surrogate is qualified.

Surrogate Mothers Rejected

Finding the right surrogate isn't simple. A combination of physical and emotional strength is the basic requirement. Just because the child insider her isn't going to be hers doesn't mean a surrogate has a license to smoke and to drink when pregnant. Prospective parents need to be certain a surrogate understands this. It is helpful for the prospective parents and surrogate mother to feel a certain chemistry. They are embarking upon a unique relationship. It's good if they get along from the start.

It is important to be careful when deciding who is truly ready to become a surrogate. Women who are considering surrogate motherhood are often rejected for emotional reasons. Sometimes a woman seems too ambivalent about surrogacy. Maybe she is uncertain about whether she will be able to let go when the child is born. Maybe she is anxious about what her friends and family will say about her endeavor.

Others are too obviously motivated by money. While it unreasonable to expect a surrogate who isn't a family member or close friend of the prospective parents to become a surrogate voluntarily, a woman who is too focused on the fee and views surrogacy as just another job probably isn't a good fit for the sacrifices that surrogacy involves.

Surrogate Mothers Accepted

Prospective surrogates not overly ambivalent or motivated by money are screened for several other qualities. Psychologists will attempt to discover if the applicant is in a life crisis of some sort. Is she trying to fill a void created by some recent loss? If not, perhaps she is ready for surrogate motherhood.

The ideal surrogate mother finds pregnancy and surrogacy to be a positive experience, physically and emotionally. If the surrogate is a mother herself, screeners like to look at the relationship she has with her own children. Will she be able to handle their questions about her new pregnancy? Finally, a home environment that is understanding and supportive is key.

The relationship between parents and surrogate can be intense and intimate. Parents are likely to be tempted to watch over every move a surrogate mother makes. After all, that's their baby inside her. Matching prospective parents and surrogate mothers is a job best left to experienced professionals. The Internet is a terrific place to find people who handle all aspects of the surrogacy process.


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