Have you ever wanted to smack someone in the face because they told you that it's easy to find a date? "All you have to do is put yourself out there." "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince." "You're too picky--that girl at that bar was totally into you and she was really hot." Friends and family always seem to have abundant commentary on the subject of your singlehood, but none of it actually helps you end up out for an evening or a cup of coffee with a person who makes you happy.

Okay, you do have to put yourself out there; but there are a lot of different ways to do that. If you're too shy to ask someone out if he or she hasn't been hitting you over the head with signals, you don't have to fret and sweat and try to overcome your shyness with a Greek chorus of your "supporters" telling you not to be so awkward. If you don't think that putting yourself on display at your town's top hot spot is the way to meet someone with whom you can listen to Mahler and talk about Kundera, don't get down because your friends think your elitism is impeding your social life.

Internet Dating in the New Millennium

Internet dating is not for losers who can't find a date. It's for people who want to meet someone who shares their interests and is capable of communicating and talking about subjects that are interesting to them. Furthermore, it broadens the pool of people from which you can draw. If your priority is finding love, why should you limit yourself to the people who happen to go to your church or school, or work in your office? Statistically, the right person for you is not likely to be among that rather limited number of possibilities.

Even if you "just" want to find a date, you still want to find someone who seems like a good potential match. It's just as depressing to get home after a night of strained conversation and boredom as it is to have stayed at home wishing you were out on a date. So get out there--online--and write a profile that shares your interests and unique personality. Then search for others who mention some of the things that are most important to you. Between you looking for him and him looking for you, you have a really good chance of finding each other.