It can be really hard for lesbians to find each other. Big cities, even the ones that would be called gay havens, tend to have a number of clubs for gay men, and you can walk down the street and pass coffee shops, restaurants, and gyms which have a predominantly gay clientele. Lesbians tend have a lower profile. Either the cities don't even have many places that cater specifically to lesbians, or lesbians don't seem as a demographic to be as interested in taking advantage of them.

The Difficulties of Lesbian Dating in a Small Town

In a small town, sadly, you can probably forget about finding a lesbian bar or nightclub entirely. Conservative climates keep women from wanting to come out, and some lesbians who would want to go to a lesbian bar don't have any gay or bi friends with whom they could go and they don't feel comfortable going alone, so they don't go. Many women have decided not tell their family or friends that they're lesbians unless or until they find a partner with whom they plan to have a relationship.

Generally, you can't identify a lesbian if you pass her on the street or sit next to her in a bar. She won't flirt with you if she assumes you're straight, you won't introduce yourself to her if you assume she's straight, and you go around thinking there are no other lesbians around and you're doomed to loneliness forever. The Internet is one of the best ways, if not the best way, to get in contact with other lesbians and make friends or meet a potential partner.

Internet dating sites give you an option on the first page to choose whether you are a man or a woman looking for a man or a woman. They then search for the appropriate people who are looking for you. Lesbians are still the smallest percentage of users on general online dating sites, but there are far more of them there than you're likely to meet anywhere else.