Many people would argue that online dating is the best way to meet a partner these days. Over 20 million people are out there online, right now, hoping to make a connection. In fact, different surveys and statistics place the number of people who are actively using the Internet for dating anywhere between 20 and 50 million. Even the detractors who claim that the best way to meet is still in person would have to acknowledge that countless happy couples have met on the Internet.

As recently as a few years ago, couples who met online were making up stories about how they "really" met. Thankfully, there has been a significant breakthrough in recent years, and couples who found love on the Internet are now willing to speak out about how proud and happy they are. Online dating is not a refuge for those who can't get a date through "traditional means." It is a valid option for those who want to increase their social sphere and use their own criteria to screen prospective mates until they find someone who wants what they want and can offer what they desire.

Not everyone using online personals wants love or marriage. Some people want a pen pal, some want to date multiple people casually, and some want to meet offline as soon as possible for a physical relationship with no plans for a future. The trick is making sure you are clear about which of those things you want, and then making sure someone who contacts you or whom you might want to contact is on the same page.

Choosing Between a Specialized Online Dating Site or a General Site

Some online dating sites are highly specialized in order to take that guesswork out. You could choose a site for marriage-minded Shiite Muslims only or for San Francisco Bay Area gay men. This is a good option if it's really important to you to only view profiles that fit your specific criteria. The down side to that, however, is that more people use the large online dating services, which let anyone post a profile. On these larger sites, one can make use of an internal search engine to find the profiles that meet one's conditions. Ultimately, it's likely that you'll have more people who fit your criteria on a general site than on a specialized site, even though the percentage of the members you'd consider would be significantly lower.

However, the search engine features are often quite detailed. Meaning, it's easy to get results from a search. It is important to be aware that on the larger sites, there is a chance of being contacted by individuals who don't seem to care what you say you want in your own profile. Adding a picture to your profile can be a mixed blessing for that reason (as well as others). Profiles with pictures get many more responses than profiles without. Even the least superficial people among us would like to know what someone looks like before investing in thoughts of a romantic relationship. The person doesn't need to look like Natalie Portman or Brad Pitt, but you want to know that this is a person to whom you could be attracted if you also liked him or her.

The problem is, if people find your picture attractive, you're likely to get inundated with messages from readers who don't really care about what you said you wanted in your profile. This can be frustrating for some people who feel, "It's so clear in my profile: don't write to me unless you're a non-smoker, have a college education, a job, and like pets. Why did I get 13 emails from guys who clearly state in their profiles that they smoke, don't mention a single book they've read, didn't go to college, or are living with their parents at 35?" Understandably, this can be irritating ... but is it really any different from meeting in person? Most of us have had the experience of being pursued by a person who doesn't seem to understand that he or she is not someone we would consider dating, and you could meet such a person in class, at work, in your neighborhood, or at the gym just as easily as online.

You Can Find the Right Person for You Online

You need to be aware of a few different techniques to manage your online personal life, but it's just as likely to bring you happiness as anything else you do. In fact, if you are a person who really wants to enjoy a meeting of the minds, online dating may give you a better chance of doing that than facing the social gauntlet at a bar or club. Safety is a concern, of course, but the Internet hosts a cross section of the general population, and a little common sense and caution can protect you from the rare person who would be truly dangerous.

Write an honest profile, and consider carefully whether you want to post a picture. Do not give out any personal contact information, including your last name, before you feel ready. If you want to meet in person, choose a neutral, safe, public location. Always make sure a friend knows where you're going and plans to check in. You have every reason to feel optimistic about online dating, but don't let that make you act precipitously and jeopardize your safety.