As you change demographics, the ratio of single men to single women looking for dating or relationships online can alter radically. Younger women online tend to be inundated with messages from men of all ages, many of whom have paid no mind whatsoever to the woman's description of what she wants. For them, it seems as though the ratio of men to women is about 20:1, though in reality, it is much less since most of these men are replying to multiple women's profiles.

For women in their 30s and 40s, whether they are divorced or have never been married, the ratio is closer to even. Sad but true, you'll probably get fewer responses because the men who are your age are still entering searches for younger women, or for a broad range of ages that includes younger women. The best thing for you to do about this is be proactive and write to the men you want.

Be Proactive as a Woman Online

Men who have posted profiles want to get messages. They don't find it forward or pushy, and they don't think you're desperate (provided you don't say something to the effect that you are). They're flattered that a woman has singled them out--and assuming that you singled him out because you had something in common, the guy you write to will almost always be happy to reply.

Men do want to see your picture--but to be fair, you want to see theirs, too. There are some men who are on the Internet looking for Eastern European supermodels (they'll get a clue sooner or later), but for the most part, the guys you'll encounter are looking for real women and you don't have to have the most stunning picture of all time. If you look nice and you send him a message he finds interesting, you have a good chance of getting a reply from a guy. Don't wait for him to write to you!